Grrrrrr

I think I am going to have to stop reading the news (I am an internet girl) because it is seriously affecting my stress level. If it isn't Tea Partiers complaining that President Obama still hasn't found a church to attend (as if that is what he should be focusing on) it's people like Torry Hansen. She is the Tennessee woman who adopted a son from Russia and when things went haywire, sent him back. SENT HIM BACK!!!

I understand that it is obvious he had some psychological problems and she was scared. Any parent who sees their child having issues gets scared, but most of us don't put them on a plane to meet a COMPLETE STRANGER IN ANOTHER COUNTRY!! As I read yesterday, this child changed his life, language, country, etc. in a six month time period. How can you expect a normal reaction? Who goes from, "I was screwed over by this Russian orphanage and my son is going to be a much bigger challenge to raise," to "I should email some guy in Russia to pick him up at the airport and drop him off somewhere with a note." SERIOUSLY?!

I have never adopted a child, but I know people who have and they love these children as much (and sometimes maybe more) than if they had come from their own body. My brain cannot compute the "parent" that could so easily cast off a child. Even if she hated this kid- even if she was terrified of him, there are so many other options. Grrrrrrrrrr!

I'm so proud of you!!

I know the official Hollywood version of high school is that it is a horrible place where the jocks hate the nerds and vice versa. It is humiliating and boring and tantamount to a living hell. That was not my experience. I am one of the big dorks willing to admit I loved high school. I had a ball and made friends I have kept my whole life (so far). I had some amazing teachers who really cared and read all the classics (I started all of them anyway). I do recognize that I did not go to the average school. We were a compilation of hippies and gangsters, and everything in between. It was an odd mixture, but mostly seemed to work. Johnston High (R.I.P.- it is now called the awful “Eastside Memorial High”) was tucked away in a corner of Central East Austin, surrounded by houses in a multitude of conditions- some neat and tidy, others reaching crackhouse status. Because we were sort of secluded there were lots of scary stories passed around other Austin campuses. When I told people I went there, there was usually a grim pursing of the lips and an “Oh.” That was always funny to me because I never felt unsafe there. I think I was lucky to be there when I was, 1990-1994. I met some of the most creative and intelligent people I have ever known. Even as teenagers, they had lots of interesting things to say and really wanted to know things. Working in a high school now has shown me that that is somewhat rare. (I love teenagers, but they have changed a lot.)

Well before facebook popped up, I kept up with people. I am a person who needs people, as Barbra would say. In the 20 years since I first walked the halls at JHS, I have seen many of these people become parents (during and after high school), graduate from prestigious universities, travel and live amazing, quirky lives. They are artists, designers, writers, photographers, musicians, firefighters, teachers, moms, dads and a million other things. Lately, I have found myself feeling an almost parental sense of pride in their achievements. I’m not sure if that is normal or if my maternal instinct is on overload. I love to read their writings, listen to their music and hear about their lives. I have not followed the path I had in mind at 17 years old. I don’t really know anyone that has. It has meandered and changed directions completely along the way. I fell in love early, had too much fun in college and studied too little, married young and had a surprise baby at 24. I am who I am because of all of it so to regret anything would be silly. So I sit here on a Tuesday afternoon in my supremely ordinary job inspired and full of excitement for what my friends and even what I will do next.

(just a very few of the many examples)

www.ilovesweetmeat.com
beautytipsforthebereaved.blogspot.com
www.bentleya.com
www.lucianread.com
just google Farhana Ali- wow!

Really?! with Seth and Katie (well without the Seth)

Okay, it is bothering me how much this Sandra Bullock thing is bothering me. I don’t know her. It is really none of my business, but I keep finding myself really feeling hurt for her and so sad. What is that about!? Maybe because she is an Austin transplant. Maybe because my family swears she was playing a dark-haired version of me in “The Thing Called Love”. I don’t know. My husband says I get too involved in other people’s problems and, apparently, this now extends to random celebrities I’ve never met (or Ms. Bullock’s case, met only once).

I dabble in the more respectable tabloids, People, etc. for fun and entertainment, but there is nothing fun or entertaining about this. Maybe I should start reading something less depressing, like the Wall Street Journal. First, I sort of felt for Mr. James. Everyone can make a mistake and he seemed truly grief stricken about it. I truly believe that you can be unfaithful for reasons that don’t make you a terrible person. The man broke America’s Sweetheart’s heart- he was going to be in for it no matter what. But now the hoes (how do you pluralize that word) are coming out of the woodwork and the previously settled sexual harassment lawsuits are coming to light and it is just so disheartening. A one-time mistake is a whole other thing from spreading it around town. I refuse to be one of those women that contend that all men are dogs. I just don’t generalize that way, but with the Tiger thing just cooling down and now this dominating the press, and any one of the “he done me wrong” stories you can hear from 1 out of 10 women on the street, it makes one wonder.

I recognize that men are very different than women, especially when it comes to sex, but REALLY?! Is it really so difficult? If a man is so distracted by and interested in and actually getting with so many different women, why not just stay unmarried? Why pull wives and kids and grandparents and family pets into the mix to be hurt? It’s just not logical. Then again, what about love and sex and emotion is logical? I know I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be there. I don’t think anyone does, but what is so sad is that some of these guys must want to be there on some level, but just not enough. So, Sandra I say to you, since of course you are reading my blog, keep your lovely head up. Remember it really isn’t you, it’s him and I hope you handle this in whatever way you see fit. Oh and you were fabulous in Hope Floats- just sayin.

Cancer Scare

So to clarify the last post, throughout the month of February, I was dealing with tests for cervical cancer and stress over insurance denials and doctor's office billings, but it has all worked out for the most part. Still dealing with the money stuff, but I am cancer free. Yea!! So things are basically back to normal, but I am greatly enjoying the normalcy and will not be complaining again anytime soon.

Note to self

Never ever post a blog entry talking about how happy, content and boring your life is. It will immediately get frustrating, dramatic and in upheaval. More on this to come. Hint: Insurance companies suck and doctors are thieves in white coats.

Check in blog entry

I try to only write these blog entries when I really have something to say. Lately my days and thoughts are filled with basketball game/practice schedules and film award show banter. (Ricky Gervais' Mel Gibson joke still makes me smile daily). I have been decidedly uninteresting since I made a point not to plan so far ahead. This is not to say I am bored or unhappy. I am feeling this weird thing- maybe this is what content feels like? Of course there are always a few things that you might want to change, but I am really at a place where I wouldn’t trade lives with anyone. That has to be a good thing, right?

I will have to try and create some drama so I will have something to write about soon. Until then, here are my favorite dresses from the awards shows this month.







DIANE KRUGER=FAVORITE!!!

Mommy belongs on the naughty step

So I am a terrible mother today. Lily is a pretty responsible kid and I guess I have gotten spoiled. She gets up to her own alarm every morning, dresses and makes her own breakfast. However, there are a few things we have repeatedly asked her to take care of and there is some sort of block there-vitamins and, my biggest pet peeve, to have her shoes on BEFORE it is time to leave.

This morning, I got myself down there in plenty of time, made her lunch and reminded her to put on her shoes. The reminder happened at 7:15 AM. The shoes were not actually on her feet until 7:25. Now, she does know how to tie shoes, etc. but she HATES to wear them. This fact causes many an argument and keeps her waiting til the last possible second to put them on. So after she gets the shoes on, we have to get the coat, the backpack, etc. and get to the car. We pull out of the driveway at 7:30 AM. The tardy bell at her school, 10 minutes away, rings at 7:35AM. So I inform her that we will be late she lets out a small, “well, it wasn’t my fault,” with a slight eye roll. OH NO SHE DI’INT! I officially became the Hulk and proceeded to inform her of all the reasons she was late and how frustrating it is to remind her of things all the time only to be told, ”Don’t remind me!” It continued, albeit more calmly, all the way to school.

So here’s the thing. I know everything I said was true and needed to be said, but maybe not on the way to the first day of the new semester. So I signed in my tardy child and said goodbye as she wiped tears and tried not to look at me. She was pissed and wasn’t going to be fine before I had to leave. I wanted to follow her to the classroom and plead with her to not let it ruin her day. She had an awesome project to turn in today and should have been ecstatic to get there and show it off. Instead, she had to listen to all the things she did wrong on the way to school from her mean mother. So I feel terrible and will probably go eat lunch with her today to make amends. In this time of immediate communication, it is difficult to not be able to send her a text or call to resolve the issue. I guess I will feel crummy all day until I can talk to her. I think I will put myself in timeout.

UPDATE: I went to have lunch with her and she had forgotten about it. Isn't that just the way it goes!