The Cool Mom

I have started re-watching “The Cosby Show” – introducing my daughter to the classics- and I am realizing how different it is to watch this show, that I loved so much as a kid, now as an adult. I felt the same way watching “thirtysomething” after I got married and became a thirtysomething. When I watched them before, they were enjoyable, but all the relationships were sort of theory. I didn’t really have anything to compare them to. Now I am seeing where I got some of my habits, my sayings and some of my values. My daughter laughed out loud when Claire Huxtable was sternly warning Vanessa about something or other. She said, “Mom that is soooo you.” I took that as a compliment since I think she was the most realistic mom on TV, in the way that she dealt with her children. She lost her temper sometimes and grumbled under her breath about them, but she also managed to be there for them in gentle ways too. She was not their best friend; she was their mother.
It is hard because sometimes I want to be the “cool mom”, but I always remember that my mom was never afraid to be the bad guy and I loved her for it later. Sometimes it even worked to my advantage. I was what some would call a bit of a goody-two-shoes in high school. I had fun, but never did the hard partying or anything. I was invited to a few parties that I knew would be a little wilder than I was comfortable with but didn’t want to look like the stick in the mud. She would always tell me to, “Blame me. Just say I wouldn’t let you go.” So I did. She didn’t care if she was the “Cool Mom” to my friends or not- and that is what made her cool in the long run. True rebels define themselves.